The list –> Blog 18

I have a very real fear of waking up one day and realizing that my entire life has gone by and I haven’t done anything significant. Sometimes I feel like a traitor for leaving Israel and my family, friends, and neighbours behind as they face terror attacks. I feel guilty for leaving my little brother home while I go to Toronto for school next year, and not being part of his life growing up. I hate that I don’t get to spend time with my parents because there is always something “more important” to do.

The list goes on.

The thing is, as bad as this probably is, I think about these things every single day. But, one thing that I tell myself as I start to sink deeper and deeper into the list is that what our class will be doing in March is significant. Despite what many have told me, I don’t believe that the trip is merely and excuse to buff up my university application, and our lack of construction education doesn’t make us useless on sight. I think that the 30 of us going are brave young people who are stepping into new territory and trying to evoke some change and positivity in the world. This project is something I feel really good to be a part of. I am so thrilled to be going with everyone in the class because I really feel as though I have grown so much closer to people that I hadn’t expected to grow closer to.

A little selfishly, I am glad that this is the one thing that I am sure of that won’t end up on my list regrets, and fears.